Getting a boat across the Caspian

1st attempt to get tickets (pre-hair cut)

After a couple of pretty chilled nights in Baku we needed to get the boat to Turkmenbashy (Turkmenistan). We had been told to arrive at 9.00am, but after a lazy start we arrived at the port 2 hours late. “God, we’re lucky” we thought, as the lady at the “Kassa” (a ticket office, well I say ticket office but it was like a tiny dark room with an old lady watching some Russian TV program) informed us that the boat had yet to leave and that we should return at twelve. We returned at twelve, to be told to return at 3pm, so having to sit in the 45 degree heat for another 3 hours, we returned at 3pm, to be told to return at 6pm. At this point we realised that our boat hadn’t even arrived yet, so it seemed extremely bleak that we would be leaving at all.

Waiting in the shade, chatting with a local Azeri.

It was at this point we met Mr Osman, a truly majestic man who came to save us from the now unbearable heat:

Turkmen plated Mercedes. AIR CONDITIONING!

Seb returned from the ticket office to tell us the bad news about the boat, but as our collective resolve started to break, he continued on to tell us that a nice Turkish man had offered to let us sit in his new Mercedes and enjoy the benefits of it’s air conditioning. Apparently he had just gone to the bank and would be back soon. Oh, Mr Fish, what a cruel trick to play on us, surely he was pulling our leg. We waited and waited, our hate for Seb growing, but eventually we saw him come round the corner, clothed in glowing white robes and riding a cloud made of silver, he gestured to us to follow him. His ethereal voice booming “You want wait in my car?”. Yeah it was a special moment.

It was lucky we found him , as at 6pm, we returned to the Kassa only to be told that the boat was to leave tomorrow. We slept fitfully in Mr Osman’s car that night with the windows open (the mosquitos got me good, bastards!). Despite his poor english, we managed to communicate effortlessly and during our 2 day wait for this boat he became one of the kindest and most generous characters we would meet on our journey.

A boat leaves for Kazakhstan

Sunset over the Baku docks.

Dinner with some Turkish truck drivers, the one on the right was driving to Afghanistan.

He told us that he was desperately trying to get home to Ashgabat in time for his 4 year old daughter’s birthday, but due to problems with his car, he had been delayed by two weeks. During lunch the following day, we were told by another excited passenger that the boat had come in! During a moment of brief panic, we ran to obtain our tickets, where Osman kindly managed to negotiate a cheaper price for us. After a mildly euphoric moment when we received our tickets, we ended up having to wait another 15 hours before we could even board.

Osman's car breaks, again, everyone looks at the problem and talks about it.

Unluckily Mr Osman’s car broke (don’t ask me what happened, as far as I’m concerned , a car is working or broken, I have no idea of the intricacies), we felt for him, but it was amazing watching a throng of truck drivers amass around the car, all arguing about what the issue was. Also this meant no AC for us, so more hours in the hot sun.

Sam getting destroyed at Backgammon.

Breakfast/lunch the next day.

We got on the boat at 11pm, with the border guard taking 15 minutes to scrutinize Seb for his new haircut being at ends with his passport photo. We met a Turkmen guy as we were boarding the boat, he spoke great English and it turned out that he was mad about Liverpool FC, Football and England in general, such a hero. He had had the good sense to give the lady at the ticket office his phone number and asked her to call him when the boat was about to leave, the lesson being; “If you know how to speak Azeri, you get treated like real people”.

The boat then waited for another 6 hours to load all of the Turkish lorries as well as Osmans Mercedes before it departed at 6am. We had completely free reign over the whole ship. We managed to wander all over the place from the Engine room to the Captain's deck to the kitchen to all of the outdoor decks. We managed to keep ourselves busy by socialising with the Turkish truck drivers (some of them driving goods to Afghanistan!), playing games of Nard with some the Turkmen passengers (I have never seen a board game played with such ferocity) and playing the Russian 'Mafia Game' with Azeri students.

Charlie does some washing in our cabin.

Catching some sun out on deck.

The voyage took 12 hours, but just as we saw the lights of Turkmenbashy on the horizon, the boat began to slowly veer away from shore. It did this and slowly and slowly dropped its speed until a thunderous crash signaled that the we had dropped anchor. Awesome. We were told about 6 conflicting stories as to why we were unable to dock, ranging from a presidential visit, to the engines being broken, to there 'apparently' being 'too much traffic' in and around the dock. I personally didn't see any boats in our way!

The other ferry passes us as we approach Turkmenbashi.

Just as we stop, the boat unleashed all of its rubbish and waste. Awesome.

Night 3 on our trans-Caspian Sea trip 

So another 12 hours later, we docked, and met our driver, Mr Oleg. So four whole days after we left our hotel in Baku, we arrived in Turkmenistan, at roughly 8.30am, with a few questions on our mind:

What was actually stopping us from docking?

Did Mr Osman make it home in time?

And:

Seriously, has no one at the Baku port ever thought at some point, “oh, maybe we should make a timetable for the boat”?

Into the light: Central Asia.